Background: I was born in San Francisco, raised in San Diego and went to nearly every beach park, mountain side and Scout camp and farms/packing houses all over California. I was beat up by my step-father from age 7-12 and molested in Scouting (I'm an Eagle Scout and disabled veteran). I was young, depressed about the fact that I was kicked out of the house at 17 because I wouldn't go to college so I enlisted.
It seems that the VICTIMS of child sexual molestation and beating spend more time on "parole" than the perpetrators. I use the word parole in the context of a totally dysfunctional life that rarely made sense and only by the grace of God kept me on a positive path out of prison and severe harm. My step-father committed suicide shortly after my Mom divorced him - I was 14. To my knowledge he was never even punished for numerous spousal abuse problems with the police much less child abuse.
After the Coast Guard, I wasn't exactly welcomed at home and didn't see much potential for me in San Diego so I went to a Hindu Retreat in Nevada City, CA...other places I have lived and in surrounding towns, including golf courses, squatting in Harlem and sneaking showers in hotels and motels and several short-term homeless situations:
Phoenix
Silverton, CO
Cimarron, N.M.
Kansas City, KS, MO
Los Angeles
Woodland Hills, CA
Denver
Durango, CO
Greenwich, CT
Washinton, DC
Salt Lake City
Chicago
Des Moines
Baltimore
Boston
Detroit
Minneapolis
St. Louis
Omaha
Reno
Las Vegas
Tahoe
Hoboken, NJ
New York: squatted in Harlem, Manhattan, Catskills, Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens, Governor's Island, Peekskill, Long Island, etc.
Cincinnati
Allentown
Philadelphia
Lubbock, TX
Madison, WI
Hawaii:
Kenneth Lee's AG Plot on Hawaiian Home Lands near Wal-Mart in a shack
small room in a house
Kona side Puako couch
Worked construction and got electrocuted to the heart...they didn't get me care and two weeks later I
Helped build the Family Homeless Shelter in Kawaihae
\as in intensive care with an internal infection.
shared crowded apartment
shared house in Kawaihae Hawaiian Homelands
Hassled by police (they used to arrest only the male in dometic disputes, now they arrest the man and the woman and the charges stick)
shared house with elderly Hawaiian lady
rented a dumpy small room
lived in a garage
lived in Kawaihae Village house and detailed cars at the Waterworld movie set
lived on a van sofa in an industrial yard where I detailed cars
lived in a trailer with rats
homeless at the Spencer Beach Park
lived with Hawaiians on Hawaiian Homelands and in Waimea
lived under a bridge at Maluokalni Gulch by the ocean
lived in a car
lived in a garage
lived in a house in Kawaihae Village
lived with Hawaiians in HHL and Waimea
lived in a cottage by Parker School in Waimea
homeless
lived with a friend from Rev. Mahi's church
homeless
shared an apartment in Waimea
shared a room in Waimea
numerous short term situations
homeless shelter in Hilo
homeless shelter apartment
KTA downtown apartment
Lehua apartments by Riverside
Correa apartments by Riverside
Adult Care Home in Pepeekeo
motel in Hilo
Adult Care Home currently - I'm fortunate to have use of a computer, they help many people cope.
In 60 years my Mom lived in 3 places. All my family is in California. My sister was molested also and was fortunate to get tenure at San Diego State University but suffers constantly from her childhood abuse. And it affects her work and how people treat her.
My Mom the enablermolester, who still has possessions from college days (she's 80). I'm happy that she is enjoying her retirement. My life was so dysfunctional, I never had a career and spent half of it seeing doctors and taking pills. Therapy like "you deserve better in your life", sounds good however is it realistic? In most cases the answer is no. Everything of sentimental value to me has long been lost, stolen or destroyed.
Was my life dysfunctinal by choice or accident? Absolutely not, it was largely due to complete confusion about myself, how to deal with other people, lack of ability to pursue stability including substance abuse, poor impulse control, possible brain damage from childhood (I have healed fractures to show you on my CT Scan) and a total mistrust of the very people that are important in life to all of us our family. It was only the other day that I shared everything with my Dad who I never really trusted because I didn't trust my Mom and felt like a hostage as a child, not knowing that my father knew nothing about the abuses.
So I suppose victims of child sexual molestation and beating would say "TAKE A WALK IN MY SHOES" to child molesters and enablermolesters. Society has it's ebbs and flows and change will come to be where women enablermolesters will be placed on lifetime parole, lose custody of their kids early on, not at age 14 and wear GPS bracelets, for their complicity in the unconscionable acts that take place. Had laws been in effect and/or followed when I was seven, I would have lived with my Dad and step-mother, who weren't abusers and my only confusion would have been, why were they so harsch on my Mom! In hindsight, the only justice for kids is when the spouse speaks up immediately about abuse so that the child doesn't suffer for years as a child and as an adult.
The most sophisticated advocate for father's rights and the need for change regarding women I've spoken to has told me it may take two generations to get a handle on this problem of child sexual molestation and beating and especially enablermolesters because they are predominately women. Fifty percent of children are sexually abused in India and I think that Christians, Boy Scouts and denialitis play a role in our thinking that the U.S. rate of child abuse is so much lower. My Mom thinks my list is "interesting!" and made a point that she was going to save it.
I say, 'LOOK WHAT I WENT THROUGH!" How do women justify their enablermolester behavior that has been going on with PRE-MEDITATION in most cases for decades that we can trace. I remember the exact time and spot when I was punched out by my step-father and that my Mom did nothing about it. After that it's too late - you are an ENABLERMOLESTER!
The norms of society have allowed women to completely abuse the mother/father/child relationship when it comes to divorce also. There is certainly a pattern of abuse by women against men and the truthfulness of their sworn testimony is to be scrutinized as coming from an enablermolester. Why is it that the VICTIMS lead such a troubled life, including problems with authority figures and the police while the child abuser and enablermolester appear to be normal citizens, albeit with no conscience? Why don't relatives and friends and the public speak up. It's like an unwritten pact that we have - people still keep blacks from buying property in their neighborhoods (that was the unwritten rule in our neighborhood and my Mom sold to two gays).
Women Enablermolesters are on notice! Some of them will be roped in soon by Chelsea's Law that Gov. Schwarzenegger signed on 9/9/10 and by about a dozen other states with similar laws.
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